Sex:Painful to Pleasurable Part 1

From Painful Sex to Pleasurable Sex
By Abby Weintraub,
Reposted with permission from Babeland

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: sex is much, much more than just penetration. Sex can be anything you want it to be, from masturbation to oral sex to a good spanking session. But what happens if you do want to explore penetration, and it’s just too painful?

First, know that you’re not alone — far from it. Many of us deal with painful vaginal penetration, and fear that we can’t genuinely satisfy our partners (let alone ourselves) without penetration; some of us once enjoyed penetration, but no longer. No matter what your circumstance or goal, there’s a way to feel better.

Abby Weintraub from our partner Babeland gives sage advice for women to become comfortable in rebuilding their lives after cancer treatment.  We’ve got so much to cover; we offer this in two parts. Each one of the products she mentions is available at Enjoy!

Toys like the FeMani vibes and Silk dildos can help you build up to comfortable penetration, or the Laya Spot and Jimmyjane Form 2 provide excellent clitoral vibration.

The more you can explore by yourself with these toys and some great lube, like BabeLube or BabeLube Silicone, the less pressure you’ll feel to “perform” for a partner. 

Read on for a (non-comprehensive) list of common issues folks have with painful penetration, and how you can address them.

  • If you’re recovering from radiation or chemotherapy treatments, you may have vaginal scarring, and the tissue has become more delicate. Lubeis extra-important here — you want to prevent microscopic tears from dragging/force, as the tears will heal by forming new, inflexible scars. To keep this from happening, combine the smooth, firm Oasis vibrators with a generous helping of lube, and remember to reapply the lube as needed. The vibration will massage the internal scar tissue, helping you to regain elasticity and prevent further deterioration. Most importantly, remember that this is not the end of your sexual life — it’s an amazing new beginning, and you may need to relearn your sexuality a bit.


  • If you’ve been diagnosed with vaginismus or other pelvic floor muscle tension issues, you’ll want to ease your way back into penetration, with the help of a non-vibratingdildo like the Silk dildos. These flexible silicone dildos range from small to large so that you can work your way up through the sizes with plenty of BabeLube. Take your time, and try to embrace your body’s changing relationship with sex over time.