Sex:Painful to Pleasurable Part 2


  • If you’ve never enjoyed vaginal penetration, but you want to try building up to the feeling of having something inside you. Whether you’re new to penetration, or you’ve just never developed a taste for it, explore lubricationand a slow buildup of girth. Start slow, and explore your body with your hands; try some porn or a book of erotica to warm up. If you enjoy clitoral stimulation, try the Jimmyjane Form 2 or the Hitachi Magic Wand to get started. Then, with a generous dollop of water-based lube and the Oasis Slim vibrator, let the vibrations relax you and ease into some shallow penetration. With time, you can work your way up the larger sizes of Oasis, but don’t rush it — slow and steady works best here.


  • If you’re menopausal, whether it’s age-related or surgical menopause, you’re likely dealing with a lot of changes in your sexuality. Remember that you’re in good company and that you’ve still got plenty of opportunities to explore sensations and embrace your orgasmic potential! Your body’s production of estrogen has dropped off, and this makes vaginal tissue less moist and elastic over time. To maintain that elasticity and enjoy penetration, you’ll need to keep the area moisturized and active — try BabeLube Siliconeor Pink Lube for moisture that won’t dry up during play. Using a smooth vibrator like the rechargeable silicone Liv a few times a week will help keep your vagina supple by massaging the tissue with vibration.


  • If you have a newly constructed vagina…some women, trans or non-trans, have newly formed vaginas. If this describes you, your doctor has hopefully given you instructions as to how you can help your new vagina heal adequately and openly; try the Oasis Vibrators and Silk Dildosto keep the path clear and pleasurable. Many of our trans women customers also enjoy BabeLube Silicone, which stays wet long after most water-based lubes have dried up.
  • If your sex drive has dropped off… or even if it’s never been all that high, you might not enjoy penetration. A reduced sex drive is totally normal, and can happen at any age, for any number of reasons (hormonal changes, medications, etc.) Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, and eating your veggies (really). And talk to a friend or therapist if you suspect underlying emotional issues, or if you think you need an adjustment in your medication dosage/type. Get back in touch with your sexuality with an extended mastur-vacation in your home, using plenty of lubeand a good vibrator. Your experience of sensation may be changing; try some fun sensation play that’s not explicitly sexual, like spankingfloggingfeathers, etc. Be patient with yourself, communicate openly with your partner if you have one, and let your body feel what it feels.


  • Or if you just don’t like penetration…that’s okay! Not everyone enjoys penetration, and it’s not a requirement for a happy, healthy sex life. If you’ve explored penetration — or even if you haven’t — and you know that it’s not for you, then we applaud you for being sexually self-aware. You’ve still got an entire universe of sensations to explore.


  • Try a vibrator like the Jimmyjane Form 2for clitoral stimulation if you like, and communicate openly with your partner (if applicable) &mdash frottage (rubbing genitals against a partner’s body parts), dry humping, oral sex, anal sex, or kinky play might be good alternatives to explore. In a way, you’re lucky — by necessity, you’ll be exploring sensations that many other people will never even discover. Have fun, and remember: there’s nothing “wrong” with you just because you don’t like the same things some other people like.